![]() You may now watch the trailer and Venarius’ death scene. But the force is too strong with Cole, so Venarius recruits Cole’s nemesis from ninja school, Hasegawa (one name only, thank you), who hates Cole’s guts because he (Cole) is so white and uncoordinated and has this ludicrous mustache but somehow became a ninja anyway. You’ve been punctured by Cole’s turgid katana.Īnyway, the army buddy needs Cole’s help to stop the evil businessman, Venarius (played by Christopher George in possibly the worst performance ever caught on tape), who wants the army buddy’s land, etc., etc. (There’s actually an awkward conversation about him not being able to get it up for his hot wife.) Guess who doesn’t have a problem getting it up for his army buddy’s hot wife? Too late. You’ve been decapitated by his katana.Īfter acing ninja school in Japan, Cole heads to the Philippines to visit an old Army buddy, an alcoholic degenerate who can’t get it up for his hot wife. Quick, is it his first name or his last name? Too late. ![]() ![]() The white guy is called Cole, and he is so bad-ass that he has only the one name. One of the reasons I love this movie so much is that, if some blatantly uncoordinated 40-year-old white guy can become a ninja, then so can I.
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